Last Nights T.V.

Last Nights T.V.

Although i wouldn't say I'm a huge fan of t.v., now and again a programme comes along that completely takes over my life. It makes me forget to go to the toilet, makes me forget to eat, even makes me forget to make sweet love to my woman. One of these programmes in particular is CSI Miami. Last night saw the opening episode of the new series of Miami, following on the story that ended the last series. Horation and Delko were strutting their stuff in Brazil hot on the trail of Riaz, a Brazilian drug dealer who killed Delko's Sister/Horatio's wife!

I won't go into the story or what happened etc. i just wanted to make a few points on the "Shades of Justice!"

First off, CSI Miami is easily the best of all the CSI's. I think that it's not only down to the characters being better scripted and having more depth to them, but the colours make the programme so watchable and warm, its hard not to want to go and live in Miami after watching it!

Then there's Horatio, or an aging Botox'd David Carusso, which ever you want to see him as. Now, while i don't think Carusso's an upper echelon actor, i can't imagine anyone playing the part of Horatio better. Everything from the side ways stance, the beady little eyes that always seem to look everywhere except the person he's speaking to and of course the "Shades of Justice" are just perfect in making the character who he is.

Where Grisham (CSI Vegas) is a methodical robot who will go days without food or sleep to find the killer, Horatio's angle is more of compassion and sensitivity. The new series has seemed to of kept pretty much the same formula as the last one, why fix it if it's not broke? The quick, chopping scene changes are still there, along with the sprawling overview of Miami or Brazil as it was last night . Delko's hair has gone slightly more buffon and Horation seems to have gained a few extra pounds, but apart from that it was like CSI Miami had never been off my screen!

It could have done more to piece together the story and at times i was left thinking, "well how did he know he was there" and "What happened between this and that", amazingly both Horatio and Delko seemed to have developed physic abilities over the season break!

Anyway, I'm just glad to see the Ginger peril back on my screen and the 15 second drum roll to bridge the opening scene into the classic theme music "Won't get fooled again" gave me goosebumps! Long live the "Shades of Justice"!!

Anyway, check out the the opening scene.......



Jim Carrey doing a wicked Horatio impression.....



So, after CSI finished, I'm flicking through the rest of the mindless shite that appears on our t.v. screens and debating whether to have a wank, go to bed or roll another doobie (I ended up doing all 3 as it happens!) i came across a piece of cinematic masterclass that was being shown on ITV4, that film was THE SHINING!!!

Shit a brick, i had completely forgotten how fucking good this movie was. I remember watching it when i was about 10 and it scared me so much, that it affected my ability to stay in Hotels for ever!

The thing is, whilst i was watching it again last night, i was probably more scared than i was 20 years ago! After de-constructing every scene for its angles, colors music etc. i realized that as a youngster, i didn't quite absorb these factors like an Adult does and this is what makes it just as scary each time you watch it.

Jack Nickelson and Stanley Kubric are both at their staggeringly, amazingly brilliant bests and i truly believe that there is not a better, more disturbing horror than this. Just check out the trailer, even that shits me up....



There are so many good bits from the film, i can't possible pick the best ones. Here's a good analysis breakdown of the film that someone with a better education than me has done....



In my opinion, every single scene, line, colour and musical note is perfectly designed to scare the living shit out of you. Its one of the most uncomfortable, psychologically disturbing pieces of film that I've ever seen, pure genius!

I could spend the whole day analysing this film and posting clips etc. But all i ask that if you don't have this film in your collection, then buy it now!!! I'm going to end with the following clip which in my opinion is my favorite. Its not the famous scene that we all know and love, but i hope ya'll like it anyway....



For me, Jack's acting here is second to none. Its impossible to script or pre-meditate all of the little hand and eyebrow movements that make this scene so special. Acting at its best.

Anyway, on a finishing note,someone at work said today that apparently some cock face people somewhere are going to do a remake of this timeless masterpiece!
Can i just say for the record "PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH THIS FILM. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO MAKE THE SHINING ANY BETTER THAN IT IS, IMPOSSIBLE, DON'T EVEN FUCKING TRY, YOU WILL JUST EMBARRASS YOURSELF AND OFFEND ME AND EVERYONE ELSE WHO CHERISH'S THIS MOVIE!"

THANK YOU!